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Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.Arrange for SPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.Bathing a Cat Cat – Plan "A"A. Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength.Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom.If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding -glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.)B. Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from. I have known about the two of you for quite a while.”I felt the color drain from my face. I didn’t know how to respond.“I am sure you must be baffled right now,” she continued. “If I have known, why haven’t I confronted you or Adam. Why haven’t I taken my knowledge to James and outed you for the hussy you’ve been.” Despite the malice in the words themselves, it wasn’t in her tone. No, she just sounded AMUSED, hell maybe even a little aroused.“Don’t worry,” she went on, “I really am not mad. Obviously, you know I am not the most faithful myself. If you can keep my dirty little secrets why can’t I keep yours?”I knew her better than to feel relieved right now. She had something up her sleeve yet. I could tell by that look on her face. She was the cat; I was the canary and she had me right where she wanted.“Do you remember those nights at the sorority house? The ones with the bottle of Jose and playing Truth or Dare? Or the nights of strip poker after closing down the bars?” She asked,.
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